when the human nature takes control.. Please remind me that...

Love.. what does it require?
Love.. just a plain feeling?
Love.. a great commitment indeed!

Love.. i look into His eyes and find no other..
Love.. as perfect and whole as His!

Love.. there's so much i need to learn...
Love.. keep me pure and clean!

Love.. i know there's someone in store for me...
Love.. make me wait patiently!

Love.. Jesus shall be my only example...
Love.. no where will there be another example!

Love.. the very reason why a Great King came in humility...
Love.. teach me to walk just as the Son of God did!

Love.. make me whole in You...
Love.. make me walk with Him daily!

Love.. renew, change, restore and purify me...
Love.. may i find my perfect rest in thee!

Just a random entry here..
after the last one ..
which is really outdated. =)

SERVICE BECOMING A DIS-SERVICE?

Have you ever wondered whether how much is too much?
Yes.. it does exist in our every day living..
even in our service to God.
Is there such thing as doing too much that "service to God becomes a disservice?

it took a a painful lesson to teach me this...
and it took someone i hold dear and close to my heart,
to really wake me up on this truth.

Have i been doing too much, i wonder..
is serving God in a number of ministries a down side to my christian walk?
i guess... ive found the answer.
and the answer was all along there...
i just did not take hid to it.

i did not take heed to the fatigue level i was going through..
i did not even take heed to my friends advice..
and to feel burnt out, was the end result.
to stumble those around me..
instead of building them up..
was the fruit of all that ive done.

perhaps i did take things upon myself..
thinking that if i did just one thing more..
those around me would be inspired..
but boy , was i wrong.

it could have been that way..
but i simply took too much on my tiny shoulders..
all these..
i had to bear..
and to face that particular misunderstanding
was perhaps the final blow,
telling me to wake up or suffer at the work of my own hands.

25th January 2006

Just got back from the vigil service of Uncle Vincent..
Was telling dad how much I respect Uncle Vincent and how good a man he was.
Elder Vincent whom I regard as an uncle..
Was a close family pal.

A man of God,
A Gift from heaven..
A man sincere..
Whose service had no limits.

I marvel at how Uncle Vincent had so loved my family
Still remember how when I was young, and when Josiah and I were still small in size,
That Uncle Vincent would always fetch my family and I home upon every opportunity he had.
Still remember, how one night, when my whole family was locked out of our home
That Uncle Vincent and Uncle Lap Ki came over to help saw open the lock..
Still remember how once when Uncle Vincent saw my injured leg,
Brought me to the doctor and even paid for every penny.
Still remember how whenever my house computer was down…
That Uncle Vincent would take the trouble to come down to fix the bugs
Even though it had meant traveling all the way from Thomson to the West.
To think of it.. the very computer I’m using to type now had been repaired by him before..
Still remember how Uncle Vincent jokingly calls my mum by the term “mai Kia”
Which simply means young women..
All these and more… Uncle Vincent was a good man indeed.

A man, I will always remember, that’s how much he means to me.
But apart from all these kind gestures..
I thank God truly for how he had been an inspiration in my walk with God.
I thank God for how he was always there to advice, encourage and guide..
I thank God for Uncle Vincent’s testimony and how he taught me what it meant to love others in as much as you love yourself.

To think that I had wanted to meet him up for coffee..
Now, I’ll only be able to do it when I get to see him at the great heavenly feast..

We will never ever be able to comprehend why God had taken back to His side our dear Uncle Vincent..
We will never ever understand why this was so sudden to the Tan family..
But I guess.. one day, all these answers will be told…

How I long for that day to come..
When I will be able to see my dear Uncle Vincent face to face..
And tell him how much he had made an impact to me..
For now, I will just have to live my life… like how Uncle Vincent had lived his..
Striving for the best..
Helping with his best..
Taking the heavenly test..
And passing it without regret.

Till I see my dear Uncle Vincent again..
May God’s love and grace be upon his bereaved family..
May they be comforted so sweetly through God’s word..That Uncle Vincent had fought the good fight and is now in heaven eternity.

1 Corinthians 13:1-13
If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a tinkling symbol.

And if I have prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.

And if I dole out all my goods, and if I deliver my body that I may boast but have not love, nothing I am profited.

Love is long suffering, love is kind, it is not jealous, love does not boast, it is not inflated.

It is not discourteous, it is not selfish, it is not irritable, it does not enumerate the evil.It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth

It covers all things, it has faith for all things, it hopes in all things, it endures in all things.

Love never falls in ruins; but whether prophecies, they will be abolished; or tongues, they will cease; or knowledge, it will be superseded.

For we know in part and we prophecy in part.

But when the perfect comes, the imperfect will be superseded.

When I was an infant, I spoke as an infant, I reckoned as an infant;
when I became [an adult], I abolished the things of the infant.

For now we see through a mirror in an enigma, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know as also I was fully known.

But now remains faith, hope, love,
these three;
but the greatest of these is love.

Year 2005 has come to an end.. So fulfiling yet so fast.. 2005 i bid thee farewell for here comes 2006.

I truly thank You my God for year 2005. The struggles i had gone through, the testings of faith.. All these trials.. just proved to me time and time again how You my Lord is indeed faithful and true.

I thank You especially for a relationship that was mended and restored. This friendship i will and always do cherish... How silly was i not to be there when she had followed Your plans. But i truly thank You that all is well now and that You are so graciously blessing this friendship in Your own way, in Your own timing.

Thank You especially for being my Stronghold and Strength, for it is indeed You who has not forsaken me, it is You who calls Yourself Yahweh who has been my counselor, joy giver during those time when i was down, lost, lonely and confused.

Thank You for how You have blessed SS camp 2005 so richly.. Not due to my own contributions nor the works i had done.. but solely because You are and magnificiant in ALL Your ways. You have proved to not only me but everyone yet again that You are who You are.. the Lord and God who Provides.. my Jehovah Jireh.

Year 2006 here i come.. with challanges ahead i shall overcome. All these i commit to You my Lord knowing that You are already there before i even set my footprints on the days ahead. And You and You alone knows what is BEST for me. Teach me Lord to follow what the old traditional chinese word "ting" illustrates on. Help me to have the right "Attitude" towards You and Your people.. Teach me to be a blessing to those around me to show them "Love" especially to those whom i find it so difficult to understand.. Teach me to "listen" more, "listen" more to those who need You, so that as i "listen", You will use me by supplying the right words as i purpose to encourage and draw others closer to You.. Guide me Master to "see and watch" out for those who are stumbling, to point them back to You for You alone understands..

Year 2006, will definitly be a busier year, with so many responsibilities and with the field placement that will be taking place very soon.. Father God, teach me to pray just as You have instructed me to. Instill in me and remind me that prayer is power. When i am down, help me remember through Luke 1:37, that "all things are possible through You".

Year 2006, i dont really know what is in store.. but Lord, continue to be my Best-est Friend.. Make me, mould me, renew me and change me.. Refine me and Sculpt me more and more to be Christlike.. to Love and not hate. To encourage and not discourage... To bless and be a blessing. When i am down, Lift me up. I know that there will be times i will feel lonely.. and the desire to have someone by my side so great.. but God, teach me that no other one or being is so close, good and just as You are.

2006, i commit to Your hands... LEt the weak indeed say that they are strong.. LEt the poor confidently say that they are rich.. Let the blind boldly proclaim and say that they can see.. all because of One.. the sweetest name one can ever find.. Yes, You.. Jesus.

When my human nature takes control in Year 2006, remind me that You are Soverign, Faithful, Loving, and simply... My Best Friend.

A letter to God